An article in the online New York Times today at http://www.nytimes.com/2007/06/04/us/04adopt.html?_r=2&pagewanted=1&hp&o... called "Surge in Adoptions Raises Concern in Ethiopia" got me thinking about international adoption. It's a topic that I don't have a hard stance on though I do have some strong feelings. I dislike hearing about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's many international adoptions. I think the worst when I hear about these celebrities and make assumptions about how they, or their nannies, are raising their kids when I don't really know. But I think what frustrates me the most is the fanfare in which it is done. I also wish they and others would adopt the many American children who aren't being adopted, who are aging out of the foster care system without families and who are more likely to go to jail or be homeless because of it.
The article on adoption in Ethiopia was interesting. Americans were adopting there instead of other countries because it was easier, cheaper, they were able to meet the families, and the children were in better condition because they were in orphanages run by international non-governmental organizations. But again, I was frustrated. One adoptive mother even said in the article: “It’s hard to know what the right thing is to do,” Ms. Suomala said. “Should we just give all the money we’re spending on this to the children’s mother?” Ms. Suomala and her husband, David Vasquez, had already spent time with her. “It was obvious the birth mother loved her children,” Mr. Vasquez said. “She said to us, ‘Thank you for sharing my burden.’ ”
Part of me wanted to answer, "Yes, you should give her the money and leave her her child."
I had an experience when I was abroad with a child who desperately wanted us to adopt her. She was about 10 and miserable. Her mother had abandoned her to a relative that didn't want her. She was being physically and mentally, and sexually abused. She would act out in school and then cry uncontrollably. And I considered it. I spoke to a contact I had in the embassy, and he said that international adoptions in that country were very difficult. The country didn't want outsiders to come in and adopt their children. I worked with a local contact who had some counseling background and she worked with a police officer and together they worked with the relative to sort things out. It took a couple of visits, counseling, discussions, and they only began to make progress, but it was much better. Things are going much better now for all of them. I could have adopted the child, taken her away, given her a very good life, but I didn't and we found solutions and she is much better off in her country, with her family.
That is one case. But who is to say that giving that mother in Ethiopia $20,000 US, the average cost of adoption in Ethiopia, wouldn't have greatly, greatly, greatly helped the mother and enabled her to take care of her child. I do want to adopt some day, and I think I will look first here, at home, at all of the children they post on the local news that are without families.
Comments
International adoption is sexy
Good point about considering adoption here in the US before looking to other countries.
I think that a lot of stars feel as though adding a child of another color, ethnicity, or culture to their family is sexy. It heightens their profile. It makes them seem mysterious and worldly to the public. This way, when people see them in magazines or on the street, it will be fairly obvious that this child is not biologically their own, and that a great sacrifice and struggle has been made to bring that child into their life--how altruisitc!
This is not to say that people who adopt internationally aren't doing something laudable. Assuming responsibilty for some one else, removing them from a degraded life to one of prosperity, is certainly something to be appreciated and honored.
No one wants to believe that there are at-risk kids here in the States that need a home and loving family. Many people think that only happens in the poorest of countries. We are a first-world nation, highly advanced, and looked up to by the rest of the world, right?
Hi Sara (and
Hi Sara (and Anonymous),
First of all, I can't believe that I am just discovering your website now. This is such a well done blog!
Rather than comment on international adoption -- because I do not necessarily disagree with your wish that people not overlook local problems, nor with the suspicion that international adoption is appealing because its more glamourous or less expensive -- I wanted to comment on celebrities and charity. And, specifically, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.
Because for all that it's easy (and right) to say that it's frustrating to see very rich people do good for publicity, and to know that they can do more because they are rich, and get the publicity because they are famous...the fact remains that they are not just adopting a child or promoting a cause. They are doing that, but they are also offering us all so much more -- a benefit to society that none of us can so easily offer -- and that benefit is enormous, and, if not tangible or calculable, at least noticeable.
Just in being who they are, and doing what they do, they promote perspectives and possibilities of actions. We can argue about what those are exactly. You might say they promote the idea that one should be involved in the world -- and consider the entire world beyond borders your home. You might say they promote the possibility of adoption -- whether abroad or home. You might say they promote the idea that one should act to affect positive change. (And the specific possibilities are no little thing for the organizations they are involved with either -- their name alone attached to an organization is a huge fundraising draw.)
Sure we can all do this. But they can do it on a national/international scale.
So I think it is good to debate about the specifics of their choices, like you do, but I just wanted us to recognize that the debate itself is a positive product of their actions. They aren't bad people. We need them. We want them.
That's what I think anyway. :)
Best wishes,
V
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